Perhaps, someone will be surprised, but communication with friends implies compliance with certain rules. The sooner a person masters them, the better his relations with others will develop.
It is believed that the rules of communication with friends should be clear on an intuitive level, but practice proves the opposite. Very often a person suffers from his own loneliness, sincerely wondering why people shun him. There can be many reasons. Many tend not to notice their own shortcomings, ignore other people's comments, considering them unreasonable. But the problem of communication exists, moreover, it is becoming relevant and widespread.
And not a friend, and not an enemy, and so
There is a category of people who absolutely do not need communication. Misanthropes, hermits, introverts - these are just a few epithets that are awarded to those who prefer complete solitude to a noisy company. But there are only a few of them, and the bulk of the population experiences a certain discomfort with a lack of live communication. To correct the situation, it is necessary to master the rules of communication with friends. At this stage, it is worth askingquestions:
1) Am I a good friend?
2) Will I come to the rescue of a loved one if he asks for help?
3) Am I offending people in word or deed?
4) Am I tactful enough?
5) Am I able to have a competent, constructive conversation?
6) Am I erudite and well-rounded enough to be of interest to others?
Honest answers to these simple questions will paint a picture.
Secrets of friendship
As a rule, friendship is born in early childhood, and if you're lucky, it lasts a lifetime. Such relationships are not interrupted, even if people go to different cities and start families. This is what we should strive for.
So, there is one wrong position: everyone should accept me as I am. This is the greatest delusion. A person must strive for the ideal all his life, engage in self-education, listen to criticism and draw conclusions. A person cannot be at one stage; it either develops or degrades. Of course, everyone wants to see in their circle of friends those people who are trying to become kinder, smarter, more educated. A good example is contagious. If there is a desire, then it's time to move on to practical advice. The rules for communicating with friends are:
1) Listen. Perhaps this is the main rule. Not every person is able to show sincere interest in the story of the interlocutor.
2) Don't be silent. Interrupting and inserting a similar story is, of course, notworth it, but making relevant and smart comments is not only possible, but also necessary.
3) Give advice with care. Perhaps the interlocutor is waiting for them, but is it worth taking on such responsibility? After all, in the end you can remain guilty.
4) Friends meet to spend time together. The key word is "together". That is why you should not hide in a corner with a phone and look gloomily at your comrades, distracting you with conversations from your favorite toy.
Basics of etiquette
Each person is familiar with the elementary rules of etiquette. But theoretical knowledge and their application in practice are not the same thing. The rules for communicating with friends are a whole science that every person who is tired of being alone has to master. Friendly etiquette says not to:
1) Embarrassing a friend. This means that it is strictly forbidden to ask for a loan from an overly frugal person or demand speed from a slow one.
2) Make difficult requests. The comrade will feel guilty about not being able to help.
3) Asking for help too often. Sooner or later, such regularity will begin to bother, and the person will try to stop communicating, believing that he is being used.
4) Making promises and not keeping them. Such actions make one disappointed in a friend.
Virtual world
The Internet has firmly entered the life of every person and has become an integral part of it. Social media is replacing face-to-face communication, so it's no wonder there are rules for online chatting with friends.
The first and main commandment says: messages sent by friends must be answered. Sometimes people online choose to ignore them. Here you need to make a small digression and imagine such a situation. Two friends met:
- Hello.
- Hello.
- How are you?
The interlocutor did not answer this, he silently turned around and left. Silent scene. This is what silence looks like on the Web.
Also, do not send funny and funny pictures to a friend. Never. Perhaps this is very funny and interesting, but suddenly a person is busy or just not in the mood. He will have to make an effort on himself to respond to this meaningless message.
In today's fashion world, the habit that needs to be eradicated in oneself is to respond with abbreviations. For example, "sps" instead of "thank you", "pl" instead of "please". The Russian language is beautiful and rich. It is much more pleasant to communicate with a person who is fluent in it, and not with difficulty connecting two words into a sentence and is distinguished by frightening tongue-tied tongue.
Relationship problem with classmates
Years of study are remembered with warmth and tenderness. Every person sooner or later thinks about the distant time when he was a carefree schoolboy. But nostalgia will come decades later, but for now there may be problems in relationships with peers.
The rules of communication with classmates will help to avoid them. A catchphrase is appropriate here: treat people the way you want,for them to treat you. This means that you can not give offensive nicknames, laugh at physical disabilities, show disrespect and rudeness. These banal truths need to be learned, they will help build harmonious relations with society.
Can you lie to your friends?
Probably someone will be surprised, but sometimes you can lie to your friends. The rules of proper communication say that you must always remain an honest and sincere person, but no one has canceled the concept of “lie for good”
So in what situations is slyness permissible? Lies are justified when the truth can lead to unpleasant consequences or even tragedy. For example, an unattractive girl asks, "Am I ugly?" Is it possible to answer this question in the affirmative? Truth-seekers, of course, will say that it is always necessary to tell only the truth. But does the person who asks such a question want the truth? Also, lying is justified when it comes to saving life, dignity and honor.
How to be a good friend?
French writer Michel de Montaigne said: "In friendship there are no other calculations than itself." So why is it sometimes difficult for a kind and open person to communicate with people?
The rules of successful communication will help change the situation for the better. And if the standard norms for dialogue and behavior are known to every person from early childhood, then more subtle nuances can be a startling discovery. The psychological rules of communication arepanacea for the oppressive loneliness:
- Communication barrier will help overcome honing your communication skills.
- Control over your own emotions is something you need to develop in yourself.
- Observation will allow you to adapt to the interlocutor, this guarantees the maximum benefit from communication.
- The ability to choose a topic is the key to success. If we take a simple example, then a person with three higher educations, talking with a simple worker, will not start talking about Barrow's theorem or about modern research in the field of genetics. Unfamiliar topics will confuse the participant in the dialogue, and he will be embarrassed.
- The sweetest word for any person is his own name. During communication, you should not depersonalize the interlocutor, you should contact by name.
- A friendly smile works wonders.
