Humor below "Linux": jokes about programmers and for programmers

2024 Author: Henry Conors | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-12 02:44

The work of a programmer has become so familiar that people began to actively humor about people working in this area. Along with the professional day, jokes about programmers began to appear.

Hell or Heaven?

A programmer ends up on trial after death. All his actions were weighed, checked, they will not find how to judge in order to decide. And then they decided to ask him what he thinks.

The programmer shrugged his shoulders and asked to see what heaven looks like and what hell looks like.

He is escorted to a huge room, a computer center. Everywhere there are wires, cars, work is in full swing, nets are stretched.

Saying:

- Here is paradise, here are users.

- Then where is hell?

- Yes, here too, only they will make you a system engineer!

Programmer learns to drive

First lesson. A gray-haired instructor who knows everything asks a new cadet who gets into his training car:

- Well, dear, where do you work?

- I am a programmer.

Instructor, turning pale but getting ready:

- Remember, this is NOT a monitor and there is NO restore button!

Programmerspeople of a special mindset. Of course, their logic is sometimes difficult to understand for the layman, and often jokes about programmers and users are composed by the programmers themselves.

How programmers meet

The programmer decided to meet beautiful girls and started with questions:

- Girls, will you have tea?

-No!

- How about coffee?

- No!

-Vodka??

- No!

He, scratching his head:

- Strange. Standard drivers do not fit…

Continuing the theme of the personal life of people who communicate with computers more often than with people, the following jokes about programmers and their families.

How babies are born

Wife playfully says to programmer husband:

- Honey, I dream of a baby!

He, in all seriousness:

- Then lie down. Let's install!

Family

The programmer's wife happily hugs him and tells him that they will soon have a baby.

Programmer pulling back:

- Are you saying I came out wrong?

Wife tricks

Programmer thoughtfully working at the computer. His wife carefully brings him hot coffee, puts the mug on the table. He, not looking at her at all, without a word takes coffee, just as silently sips. Suddenly he frowns and, turning to his wife, exclaims in displeasure:

- I can't stand sweet coffee!

- Honey, I know! But I really wanted to hear your voice!

Humor about people in this profession continuesa series of situations. It is clear why jokes about programmers will never end, because this is such a fertile topic for jokes.

Mom dear

Announcement: need someone patient and adequate to explain to the mother of three programmers how to connect to the internet.

People come up with not only jokes about programmers, but also about related professions, which are also close to computer technology.

Such the same system administrators

Especially for the sysadmin. Instructions for dumpling modeling.

1. Collecting dumplings.
2. Making forty-five backups.

Sysadmin morning

Question: what does a sysadmin do when he wakes up from a very heavy drinking?

Answer: tests memory.

Often jokes about programmers are so specific that only they, professionals in their coding business, can understand them.

Fence problem

Given: unpainted fence and paint.

Question: how many programmers will it take to paint the fence?

Answer: Three brigades.

Explanation: The first team will be required to prepare the fence demo. To perform the main actions, you need a second one. Well, the third team is sent to repaint the shortcomings of previous works.

The right question

Two programmer friends chatting:

- Ha, you know what separates a user from a programmer?

- Of course! A programmer can answer a question in such a way that even immediately containsanswer.

- Hmm, and how to understand this?

- Well, here's a question for you: what happens if 2x2 equals 4?

Second on the machine:

- TRUE.

Separate areas of programming also deserve their jokes. And now you can read both jokes about 1C programmers and app developers.

Observation

What a wonderful office we have! An ABAP programmer works in an almost homemade T-shirt. "1C-nick" is sitting in a suit, and the JAVA programmer is generally in a down jacket, and put on a hood on top!

Knowledge

The 1C programmer is asked what he writes diligently. Answer:

- We'll find out how we launch it!

As practice shows, stories about the wrong side of the profession are very vital jokes. The article about programmer bi has become almost a cult.

The cry of the soul

My job is database development. I get satisfaction and joy from the process. But then one thing began to upset me: as soon as people heard that I was working as a programmer, an inexhaustible stream of questions “which device is better to choose” immediately began. They brought me laptops and mice for repair, asked me to blow out the coolers in the system units and even fix the phone. Each of my refusals and attempts to explain that a computer mechanic and my profession are completely different areas of work became the reason for all sorts of universal insults and recognition of me as a snob.

One day I decided that I would either lose friends and new acquaintances, or think of something. Since then, to questions about the field of activity, I answer in detail that my position"database architect", and sometimes could add "and shells". It has become much easier, and now I am not inundated with requests.

But yesterday I got a call from a friend, and I realized that I will never come up with a perfect solution. A friend asked me to design a building for him. In the country. Toilet!

Progress

Grandmother carefully addresses her 9-year-old granddaughter.

- You know, Mashenka, I already kept a diary when I was your age.

Mother:

- Grandmother, this is a long time ago. I kept a file cabinet!

Daughter:

- Mom, this is the last century! I will enter the database.

The more specific the profession, the more strange the humor about the representatives of the region. And as they say, a programmer is such a worker who, with a smart look, will solve a problem that no one knew about. And in a way no one understands.