Jokes and jokes about Chuck Norris

2024 Author: Henry Conors | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-12 02:43

Well, of course, who doesn't know him. This is Chuck himself, and besides, Norris, that is, he immediately chucked, and a swarm of holes. That's what they say about him - he hits him only 2 times, once on the head, and the second on the lid of the coffin. The six-time world champion in karate won about 200 fights in his life and remained invincible. His real name is Carlos Ray Norris. He went down in history as an actor of cinema, who played many wonderful roles. There are legends, jokes and anecdotes about him. Today, a fighter, artist and just a good person, despite his more than 70 years, continues to delight fans with various appearances in the press and on TV, and his age in this, as they say, is not a hindrance, but fun.

List of Chuck Norris jokes

If in any conversation the topic of discussion is martial arts, then the phrase about the famous "Texas Ranger" will surely slip through. Jokes and jokes about Chuck Norris spread everywhere. Let's have a short list of the best powerful warrior taunts.

What Chuck Norris can do:

1. Get the Cyclops between the eyes.
2. Squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
3. Bring a rubber woman to a real orgasm.
4. Make the bow roar.
5. Kill two boulders with one bird.
6. Make a lying stone move and let water through.
7. Slam the revolving door once and for all.
8. Breathe a vacuum instead of oxygen.
9. Deciding without a clock what time it is.
10. Jump out of underwear.

What this guy can't:

1. Fall like a log.
2. Sink like an ax.
3. Get the joke and stop in time.
4. Growing old. No age difference.
5. Answer the question of what time is it? Always speaks - two seconds before - and performs a signature kick.
6. Cook soup in a pot - does it in the palms.
7. Use dishes. Chuck has a disposable one.
8. Living in the only house. He always kicks the owners out of the accommodation he likes, and when he gets bored, he repeats this.
9. Ride horses. Get giraffes.
10. Throw a boomerang. He is afraid to go back to Chuck Norris.

Jokes and jokes about Chuck Norris

At ceremonies and holidays, at name days and kebabs - everywhere they remember with humor a tough karateka with a black belt. Where jokes about Chuck Norris wander, it's fun and provocative. And he stands (and does not lie) on a par with the most famous heroes of world cinema.

A lot of romantic anecdotes and stories about Chuck walk through the expanses of satire, because women still love him, despite the years:

1. Jack'sNicholson has had 10,000 women in bed in his lifetime, while Chuck Norris has a work schedule from Monday to Friday.
2. Safe locks and women dare not object to Chuck and give themselves to him on the first try.
3. The years of love spare no one but Chuck Norris.
4. Before, the girls ran away from the young Norris, and now he is running away from the crowds of suffering female fans.
5. Chuck falls asleep on a bed with one beauty and wakes up with another. And so for the night ten times.

Panning about the movie with irreplaceable Chuck

Chuck opened the road to karate in the army, and after it, not just anyone, but his best friend and unsurpassed master of tough combat - Bruce Lee became a guide in contact sports for him. He also directed the first films with the participation of Norris, such as: "Rescue Team" and "Way of the Dragon", in which he starred as a stuntman. Some movie banter with the irreplaceable Chuck:

• Norris didn't win an Oscar for acting because he can't act.
• In the Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus was not chasing an SUV, but was running away from Chuck Norris.
• Playing the lead roles in thrillers, Norris always reshot them with new actors.
• Actor Chuck always has 200 items on hand to kill anyone with.
• Never say "No one is perfect" in front of him, otherwise the karateka will take it as an insult.

Many jokes about Chuck Norris and his mentor Bruce were born in 1968-1972. It was at this time that friends not only createdfilms, but rested and had fun together. They broke bricks with their hands and heads, and also practiced punches. From this came the following jokes:

• Chuck Norris doesn't enter through doors, he appears through walls.
• Norris has no chin, instead there is a third fist.
• Chuck Norris' fist is the fastest way to a man's heart.
• Bruce Lee with nunchucks is invincible, and Chuck's fist is just like a nunchaku.

Let's continue on funny

Telling and even more so listening to jokes about Chuck Norris is informative and funny. Reading humorous lines, you delve into being a kind of guy who does not care about anything supernatural. Let's laugh together at the legendary man:

1. The Guinness Book of Achievements tries to reach his record but fails.
2. Norris spits out seeds faster than a machine gun.
3. When training with this restless guy, the simulator is gaining strength furiously.
4. Friends didn't have time to warn the karateka when he swallowed a cake with a stripper sitting in it.
5. You can look at water, fire and Chuck's roundhouse kick for a long time.
6. Chuck doesn't sleep - he waits.
7. Traffic lights automatically turn cars red when Norris crosses the road.

Jokes about Chuck inspired by the truth

A review of Chuck Norris' funny jokes reveals true stories, and although they are hilarious, it seems that much of what they make fun of, he will do without a doubt. Athletic built and hardened in extreme situations, Chuck overcame any obstacles in a serious way. Even at the moment, with almost eighty years of experience, he will not give way to any difficulties.