The concept of masculinity today is very diverse. In recent decades
the aesthetic views of both sexes have undergone significant changes. But still, the main, fundamental signs and ideas about what a woman should be and what makes a man a man remained unshakable.
What women think
All people are different. Each woman has her own ideal, which is formed as a result of the imposition of a variety of circumstances. If a girl grew up in a prosperous family, then the main model for her in the subsequent choice of a life partner, as a rule, is her own father. Otherwise, to the question of what qualities a man should have, she gives the answer herself, guided by her own life experience, as well as the opinion of people who are authoritative for her, mostly friends.
Numerous polls of sociologists give an idea of the average views on the qualities that, according to women, an ideal man should have.
There is power. What not to?
Power comes first. What do respondents of different ages mean by it? The younger ones mean physical muscular power. In this approach, an instinctive desire is manifested to receive reliable protection and give birth to he althy offspring. Women who are at the “elegant age” over 30 attach great importance to moral strength, for them the courage and intelligence of a companion, his sense of humor, as well as such an important character trait as the ability to be condescending to the weaknesses of others are more important.
And rushing like torpedoes…
Purposefulness is firmly in second place among those virtues that ladies prefer. It is unlikely that the one who does not know what he wants in life deserves the attention of the beautiful half of humanity, and even more so the one who knows, but does nothing. The desire and ability to achieve one's own is what makes a man a man. Not only women think so, but also the representatives of the stronger sex themselves. However, in purposefulness there is a proportionality. If a man, when solving a task, does not disdain meanness, weaves intrigues and commits immoral acts, then not every woman will treat him with respect and understanding. In the end, Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin from the great novel by F. M. Dostoevsky "Crime and Punishment" was also a very purposeful person, which did not prevent him from being a scoundrel.
No sooner said than done
Commitment is what makes a man a man. If you promised, then be kind, do it. Word-tin. There iseven something like a joke that tells how a father inspires his son with the idea that a real man should have two main qualities: commitment (if he promised, then do it by all means) and stamina (never promise anything to anyone). This, of course, is a joke, but women do not like windbags. Men don't respect them either. It does not matter how much a person talks, the main thing is that his speeches should not be stupid. It is sometimes believed that taciturnity is a sign of wisdom. This, alas, is not always the case, but if there is nothing to say, it is best to remain silent.
Men's gossip should be completely excluded, they are only forgivable for the not very smart part of the female community.
Family and children
Attitude towards family characterizes any person, regardless of gender. It so happened historically that in a country where the peasants were dispossessed, the Orthodox were "starred", at the same time, most of the men, as it were, were "de-muzhik". The general leveling made it difficult to show the instinct of a breadwinner inherent in the stronger sex, and sometimes husbands, unable to provide decent well-being for their families, ceased to respect themselves. Women managed to preserve their nature to a greater extent, and it can be confidently asserted that most of our families are held together thanks to their efforts. Wives are especially appreciated when husbands themselves, without reminders and persuasion, do what a man should do. This applies to heavy physical housework, other comprehensive care, and even the implementation of basic hygiene rules.
A special place is occupied by the attitude towards children. It is the father who must teachsons of manhood, as well as various life skills. His role in raising his daughters has already been mentioned. A popular proverb says wisely about the attitude towards adopted children: for a real man, other people's children are not a hindrance, but a fool and his own are a burden.
No need to brag
The higher the level of development a person is, the less he wants to exaggerate his virtues. Why exaggerate what is already enough? On the other hand, an ignoramus and a rogue who has picked up individual and fragmentary information willingly boasts of his “successes” right and left. A vivid example of such a "peacock" was bred in the comical image of Svirid Golokhvastov by the wonderful writer M. Staritsky. Not inferior to him and Gogol's Khlestakov. Boasting is not what makes a man a man, quite the contrary.
Self-Created Success
"He made himself" - this is how the British call someone who has achieved success through his own efforts and talent, and not through patronage or successfully married. It happens that a real man also gets an inheritance, but he will do everything to increase it, and will not allow it to be wasted. “Everything for the family!” is his motto. But beggars and parasites are not in honor of the ladies. A real woman is more likely to give preference to a man of more modest means, who has achieved everything on his own, than to a rich man who has achieved we alth by writhing and trading his conscience.
Appearance
Women love neat and tidy men, but their overly reverent attitude to their own appearanceannoys. The desire to have comfortable clothes and shoes for all occasions and for any weather is commendable, in contrast to the dandy “shifting”. “You can be a smart person and think about the beauty of your nails,” said the classic. As in all other matters, moderation adorns “both the gray-haired old man and the young man.”
What is he, a real man?
Unfortunately, kindness was not included in this kind of "top parade" of male virtues valued by the beautiful half of humanity. Only the most intelligent women, who have received sometimes cruel lessons of fate, are able to understand the importance of the mentioned character trait. The ability to understand, regret and help, and not in words, but in deeds, is a sign of real strength, and purposefulness, and the beauty of the soul. There is no doubt that a kind person will love his family, he has real friends, and it is quite possible that he will also be successful.
