Getting to know the parents of the bride and groom is an important event in the process of preparing for the wedding. If the parents of the young are strangers to each other, then the upcoming meeting is likely to cause excitement on all sides. How do the parents of the bride and groom meet? Are there any traditions of holding this meeting? Is it customary to give small gifts to new relatives, and if so, what kind of gifts would be appropriate?
Neutral territory
Before the meeting, you need to decide on the place of acquaintance. The parents of the bride and groom can be invited to a cafe or restaurant. The advantages of this option of organizing a meeting are that relatives or the young themselves will not need to stand at the stove and prepare for the meeting (to carry out general cleaning, for example). No one will evaluate the culinary delights of the mother of the bride, shifting her skills to her daughter, or the repair and decoration of the apartment.
True, in this case, the first meeting of the parents of the bride and groom also requires preparation. Often, newlyweds decide to choose a place where none of the invitees has been, so that everyone is on an equal footing and the territory is really neutral. This is not the best option, because in this case, the service may be poor quality or the food tasteless, which will leave an unpleasant impression of the meeting.
It is also important to consider the budget, so that newly-made relatives do not remain indebted to each other after the first meeting. A table must be reserved in advance, especially if the meeting is scheduled for a weekend or Friday evening. You need to know that the favorite place of the young may cease to be such if one of the relatives does not like it.
Invitation to visit
The acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom can also be held at the home of one of the relatives. This will help the mothers of the newlyweds to show off their speci alties (if the girl's parents are going to visit her future husband, they can take some homemade dish with them). Acquaintance at home will allow you to demonstrate hospitality, and the inviting party will also feel calmer on their own territory, so that they can defuse the situation if something happens. But at the same time, a conflict may arise - who should invite whom? Traditionally, the groom's parents came to woo the bride's parents, and as a dowry they received coins, household utensils, towels and bed linen, jewelry -much depended on the financial situation of the family.
Invited
Who should be present at the meeting of the parents of the bride and groom, what to say to the newly-made relatives? Here the answer is obvious. Do not invite many relatives to the first meeting. Enough of the young themselves and their parents. You can meet grandmothers, aunts and cousins later. But it is permissible to invite other relatives to this event if the bride or groom has single-parent families. For example, a girl's single mother might come to meet her sister or the bride's grandmother.
Cultural program
Acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom is traditionally a matchmaking, but in modern conditions everything has changed. Most likely, new acquaintances will carefully look at each other, so tension can become a meeting companion. It's actually not that hard to find neutral themes. But it doesn't have to be a wedding. Before discussing the event, you need to talk a little on general topics. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare those who are close to both those and other relatives. Maybe moms love cooking, and both couples spend their free time in the country? These are great conversation starters.
Traditionally, parents talk about the childhood of the young. This is not a taboo topic, but everything should be in moderation. It is worth checking if the mother took with her all the family photo albums, where the bride or groom is not always presented in a presentable form. They will have time for this. enough for the first meeting.capture some favorite photo if parents want. This will help to change the subject to something more neutral if something happens.
Menu preparation
If the parents of the bride and groom meet on neutral territory, that is, in a restaurant or cafe, then you need to choose an institution with a neutral cuisine. You should not choose a Japanese restaurant, because not everyone is comfortable eating with chopsticks, and sushi is a specific food, not everyone likes it. It may be that one of the relatives has a negative attitude towards raw fish. Therefore, you should give preference to a European restaurant with a large selection of dishes for every taste.
In the event that an acquaintance is planned at home, you need to know in advance about the gastronomic preferences of the invited guests. It is advisable to clarify about unloved dishes and the presence of food allergies. This will allow you to adjust the menu. Also, such questions will make it clear to the invited party that young people and parents care about them and try to please.
Wedding Discussion
Don't jump straight into talking about your upcoming marriage. At the first meeting, you can not even think about it, but allow parents to talk about common and favorite topics, learn more about each other, chat and share their impressions. Young people also need to get involved in the conversation in order to track down unpleasant and taboo topics, if the conversation comes up, and correct the dialogue, direct it in the right direction. A good distraction is to view childhood photos of the bride or groom, old videos, for example, from the wedding of the parents or from the childhood of the young.
General prohibitions
There are rules for introducing the parents of the bride and groom, but most of the traditional instructions are no longer followed today. Therefore, you just need to be courteous and adhere to the general rules of etiquette. You should avoid discussing politics, he alth, football and sports in general in a conversation (if the parents have different interests and they support different teams). It must be remembered that each family has its own skeletons in the closet, so the mention of something problematic can spoil not only the whole first impression, but also further relations between relatives.
A few tips
It is very important that the acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom cannot be combined with the acquaintance of the bride or groom herself with the parents of the chosen one. At the time of the meeting, they should already know each other, otherwise there is a very high probability that something will not go according to plan. If the groom's parents go to visit the bride's relatives, then you need to remind your lover that it is worth grabbing flowers not only for the girl, but also for her mother. Gifts for the acquaintance of the groom's parents with the bride's parents are not needed at all, but if one family goes to visit another, it's better to take a bottle of wine or some kind of treat with you, for example, a box of chocolates.
A glass of wine will liberate the guests, but no more. If the fathers of the young love to drink, then you should at least watchfor the amount of alcohol, otherwise the tense situation can only worsen or even lead to unpleasant incidents.
Besides, do not look for double meaning in the words of parents and relatives. It is unlikely that anyone wants to offend guests on purpose. You just need to relax and discuss the nuances of the upcoming celebration in a pleasant atmosphere. All people are different. Some parents may be modest and shy, others may be glib and able to get their way in any circumstances.
If young people know in advance that one of the relatives can lead the conversation in the wrong direction, then perhaps it is worth inviting another of the relatives. A witty and talkative (but on topic) aunt or a wise grandmother will help defuse the situation if something goes wrong. But this guest should not switch all attention to himself. Therefore, it is worth warning this person in advance about his role as an assistant.
It is important to remember that the main thing is the atmosphere that young people create. The meeting can go great, even if the parents are initially skeptical about each other. Of course, each family is individual and there are no general rules, but the tips listed above will help organize the acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom as best as possible.
