Going to visit, hosting friends and acquaintances is a long tradition. In both cases, we hope to get positive emotions from communication. But it happens that after the next such visit, a not very pleasant “aftertaste” remains. Maybe it's because we just don't know how to behave at a party?
Strict adherence to the rules of etiquette was instilled in our ancestors from early childhood and was practically “in the blood”. Does modern man need all these ceremonies? Or is the ability to behave properly the key to a decent reputation and good relationships beyond time?
Each time has its own etiquette
Of course, prim ancient ceremonies are inappropriate in our time, but even now, when you are going to visit, you must definitely know the rules of etiquette. Especially if you are not going to close relatives or friends, but to unfamiliar people. Naturally, you want to make a good impression on them, not to get into an awkward situation in someone else's house. In order to feel more confident, you need to know how to behave at a party. It does not hurt to have an idea about how you need to receive guests yourself.
But, unfortunately, in ourtime is not customary to pay much attention to etiquette, and not every modern person is familiar with the existing rules. We will try to fill this gap.
How to invite guests?
First of all, you need to know that it is customary to invite people to visit no later than a week before the appointment. This is not just a requirement of etiquette: your potential guests may have other plans that they will have to adjust in order to respond positively to the invitation. They will not be able to do this in a short time.
If you invited a person who does not sympathize or is in conflict with another of your acquaintances or relatives, then this time you should not call the latter.
It is unethical to invite a guest in the presence of another friend whom you do not plan to invite to visit.
Are you going to invite people whose relationships you know nothing about? Then it is worth informing each of them about the other. Thus, the situation will "fall apart" by itself. It's better to have one less guest than to endanger the mood of everyone else.
Guests on the doorstep. How should hosts behave?
Do not forget that it is the host who is responsible for ensuring that each of the guests is comfortable visiting him. Therefore, the conversation must be directed so that the topics of conversation are close and understandable to each of the guests, so that everyone can take part in it, express their own opinion. But to force to keep up the conversation against the will of the invitee is also notworth it.
If the host suddenly notices that the danger of a dispute is brewing among the guests, you need to tactfully move the conversation in a different direction. How to do this, intuition will tell. Perhaps a well-timed joke or a distracting remark will help.
Host spouses should behave evenly with each other in front of guests, allowing neither disputes nor excessive demonstrations of love.
It is not recommended to exchange phrases in a foreign language with guests if one of the invitees does not know this language - this will put him in an awkward position.
Without an invitation to visit - no-no
Educated people go to visit by invitation only. You should not literally take the words that you are welcome at any time, and you are always a welcome guest. And even if they are really sincere, it is impolite to “fill up” in the house without prior coordination of this visit with the owners. And only in relation to the closest friends and relatives can sometimes an exception be made. But even they should be warned about the upcoming joy of meeting you in advance.
If you are invited to visit, you can not bring friends, acquaintances or children with you without warning the hosts in advance.
When going to visit, well-mannered people leave their four-legged pets at home. Hosts should also take care that their pets do not bother guests.
What to take with you on a visit?
When guests are invited in connection with the celebration of a birthday, wedding, housewarming or other significant date, they are sure to buy a gift for the hero of the occasion. And if the meeting is not connected with somedate, do not come empty-handed? What is the best thing to bring? You will definitely not go wrong if you give the hostess of the house flowers. It is appropriate to bring a cake, candy or other sweets. If there are small children in the house, you can bring a small toy for them.
And most importantly, take a good mood with you. After all, the most important thing at a party is not a plentiful treat, but an interesting lively conversation, friendship and human warmth.
How to behave at a party? Rules of etiquette
You need to come to visit on time. If you arrive earlier than the agreed time, the hostess may not have everything ready yet, or she will not have time to put herself in order to receive guests. If you are late, the prepared dishes can get cold, and the hosts and guests who arrive on time will become nervous.
When entering the house, first of all, you need to greet the hosts and other guests. Defiantly consider everything around tactlessly. But it doesn’t hurt to praise the owners for the comfort created in their home - they will be happy.
It is not permissible to express noisy emotions about a meeting at a party with your old acquaintance or friend. The joy of meeting is best shown with a smile and a calm, polite greeting. Remember the lessons of good manners.
If, on the contrary, something upset you or someone offended you, and this should not be shown to others so as not to spoil their mood.
Elementary rules for how to behave at a party stipulate that men should look after women. Representatives of the stronger sex help the ladies who entered the room take off their outer clothing,at the table they put food on the plate of a woman sitting next door, pour her drinks. But too openly to show their sympathy, and even more so to dissolve their hands, is extremely uncivilized. If you liked a beautiful stranger so much that you wanted to start a relationship with her, it’s better to take her phone number.
When leaving, you should say goodbye to all those present, or at least to the owners. If you need to leave early, you should warn the hosts about this, explaining the reason.
Basic rules of table etiquette
Despite the fact that we do not go to visit to eat deliciously, not a single such trip is complete without a feast. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to remind you how to behave at the table.
The first thing to do when sitting at the table is to put a napkin on your knees. Remember that it is meant to protect your clothing and should not be used to wipe your hands or lips. When you need to leave the table, you can leave the napkin on the chair or to the left of your plate.
Before you start eating, wait until the owner of the house does it. Before sipping a drink, you must carefully chew and swallow food and wipe your lips with a napkin. A person familiar with the rules of etiquette will never drink food in his mouth. And one more small nuance - before pouring a drink into your glass, offer it to your neighbor on the table. After the meal, don't forget to thank the hosts and praise the choice of dishes.
How to use cutlery correctly?
There isa simple rule for using cutlery: first of all, you need to take the one that is farthest from the plate, and then the one that is closest to it.
The fork is supposed to be held in the left hand with the prongs down, and the knife in the right.
The handle of the fork should be held so that the middle and thumb hold the base, and the index is located on top.
Shared cutlery is used only to put food from the common on their plate, but putting a common spoon or fork in your mouth is strictly prohibited!
With a short break in the meal, cutlery is placed, crossing them perpendicularly: knife to the right, fork to the left. To show that you have finished your meal, just put these cutlery on the plate in parallel.
Ten "NOTs" away
Don't forget about how not to behave at a party. Good manners include the following "NOT":
- do not enter the bedroom or kitchen without the permission of the owners;
- don't put your elbows on the table, don't wave your arms;
- don't talk on your cell phone at the table;
- do not chew with your mouth open;
- don't champ;
- do not abuse alcohol, do not let yourself get drunk;
- do not force others to drink alcohol;
- don't make guests toast;
- do not show dissatisfaction with treats or company;
- don't stay up late, don't ask to spend the night.
Rules of conduct at a party for children
Not only adults visit, but also children. If you take your beloved child with you, you can control his behavior. True, it is important to remember that one should not educate him at a party, and if necessary, remarks should be made in a low voice.
But if a child is going to visit a peer without adult accompaniment, parents should remind him how to behave at a party.
• Visiting is by invitation only.
• If a child is invited alone, no siblings or friends should be brought along.
• You cannot visit without the permission of your parents and the parents of the friend the child is visiting.
• It is important to be punctual, not to be late. You are allowed to arrive no more than 15 minutes later. If you cannot arrive on time, you must warn the hosts in advance and apologize.
• When visiting, the child should greet a friend and say hello to his parents.
• Shoes must be removed when entering the apartment.
• The child must tell the friend's parents what time they plan to leave and how they will get home.
• When asked if the child wants something to drink or eat, he should answer not with a nod or shake of his head, but with the phrases: “Yes, please” or “No, thanks.”
• Begging the host to open gifts is ugly, even if the child really wants to see what other guests have brought.
• AwayYou can’t shout loudly, it’s absolutely unacceptable to be rude. You need to speak calmly.
• Children should not keep themselves waiting if the owners invite them to the table or offer to play, look at photos. The etiquette is to agree, even if you don't feel like doing it.
• No jumping on the couch, fooling around, throwing pillows.
• Climbing into a chair with legs is bad form.
• When leaving the guests, you need to thank the hosts for their hospitality and promise to ask your parents when it will be possible to invite a friend to your place.
• Thank you for the party at least twice. The first is before leaving home, the second is by phone the next day.
These lessons in good manners would be nice for adults to adopt.
Knowing and observing the rules of etiquette regarding how guests should behave, you will leave only pleasant impressions about yourself and will always be welcome in any home.
