Today it is no longer possible to meet a person who, at the first meeting, will fall on one knee or bow to the ground. Women no longer curtsy, men rarely kiss ladies' hands, no one learns w altz parts or mazurka elements. With what surprise our ancestors would have looked at us! Indeed, for them such secular etiquette was a common and even obligatory matter, it determined the presence of upbringing, good manners and culture. How and why the norms and rules of behavior in high society changed over time, this article will tell.
What does the concept of "secular etiquette" mean?
This definition incorporates a set of good manners and regulates the lines of socially approved behavior. Knowledge of the norms of modern etiquette can help a person win over his surroundings, make an impression, secure a reputation as an erudite intellectual and an attentive person. However, achieving such an opinion about yourself is a real science. All the generations that lived before de alt with it, so a certain set of advice has been developed to this day, despite periodic changes in habits, tastes, worldviews. Regardless of time and era,social expectations in relation to the individual remained by and large unchanged - they always included the presence of politeness, a sense of tact and courtesy, the ability to behave at the table, at a party, in a public place, the ability to start and maintain a conversation.
The emergence of etiquette
The history of etiquette is traditionally associated in the minds of most of the population with France, England and a number of other European countries, such as Germany. However, they cannot be called the birthplace of secularism! Here for a long time reigned widespread ignorance, rudeness, lack of education, respect for strength and power. Secular etiquette owes its origin to Italy, which alone, thanks to its own economic power, stood out, especially in the Early Middle Ages, against the background of other states. Thus, until the middle of the 16th century, England remained a barbarian country with bloodthirsty laws due to its relentless involvement in new wars. At that time, independent Italian commune cities grew rich, developed art and, of course, in an attempt to decorate and ennoble their own lives, gradually introduced the norms of etiquette. Germany of this period, like England, was involved in a no less bloody war, in connection with which the nobility remained uncultured for a long time. France similarly recognized only the power of power, war and combat.
This is the beginning of the birth of etiquette, closer to the present with its canons. Of course, one should not think that before the Middle Ages, nothe norms of etiquette in the world did not exist. They took shape almost immediately after the appearance of man, which means that, to a greater or lesser extent, they have accompanied people since ancient times. After all, the worship of the elements and local gods can also be considered certain rules of conduct. Ancient Greece, for example, also made a certain contribution to the development of secular norms: the merits of the Greeks include the creation of table and business etiquette.
History of the further development of etiquette
Secular etiquette has come a long way in its development. Gradually, as military operations in Europe began to become more focused and deliberate, the notion of courtesy emerged. It regulated the rules of conduct for the knights, who began to act as one of the main representatives of an educated society with their own, original, high secular culture. According to the code of honor, the knight had to choose for himself the Beautiful Lady of the Heart, fight and win for her, be able to compose poems and songs in honor of his beloved, not hope for an answer from her, and play chess well. Of course, they provided for the rules and the presence of such virtues and skills characteristic of a knight as the ability to perfectly wield weapons, ride a horse, the ability to show courage, determination and fearlessness at the right time.
The etiquette of the secular society of that time gave such traditions familiar to mankind today as shaking hands at a meeting or removing a headdress. Both that, and another in the days of chivalry confirmed the lack of desire to kill the interlocutor and was used toexpressions of good intentions and good disposition. Of course, today a person who mechanically shakes hands with a friend may not even know how important this gesture turned out to be in the world of medieval Europe!
The next stage, which characterizes the history of etiquette, is the period of the Renaissance (Renaissance). The achievements of technological progress, science and art have led to increased contacts between countries, as a result of which the norms of etiquette have taken a huge step forward, have become identical to the education and elegance of a person. Rules such as washing hands before eating, using cutlery and knowing how to use them, keeping a consistent style of dress, not being overly pompous and panache were becoming more common.
In the future, the concept of etiquette continuously changed, being filled with if not new, then qualitatively different content from era to era. Only the best and necessary was selected, that which could really show a person as an independent unit and characterize him in terms of knowledge of the rules of culture. Today, this process is still not completed - the basics of etiquette are not static, they are in continuous change and development. With the advent of new spheres, new rules of behavior also appear.
What happened to etiquette in Russia?
The initial existence of secular etiquette on the territory of modern Russia can be compared with the situation that takes place in the emerging states of medieval Europe. Clearly articulated rules and regulations as suchdid not exist until the end of the 17th - beginning of the 18th century, that is, until the educator and reformer Peter I ascended the throne. Before him, Domostroy was the universal reference book for any Russian person, in which the fundamental foundations of family life and housekeeping, according to which a man was the undivided head of the house, could beat his wife, and also independently established what customs and traditions they would live. Peter saw in this a relic of the past, unsuitable for a progressive state, and therefore borrowed many books from Europeans that teach secular etiquette.
Modern types of etiquette and those that are familiar to a person from history
Today, in addition to the courtly, outdated etiquette, humanity is also familiar with the following types:
- Courtier - culture and etiquette that were necessary to observe at the court of monarchs. These are strictly regulated and binding norms. For their non-observance (for example, failure to bow before the royal figure), it was quite possible to go to the chopping block. This type of etiquette is used today in states with a monarchical form of government.
- Diplomatic - these are the rules of secular etiquette that regulate the behavior of diplomats and the process of their interaction with each other during a meeting, at negotiations, at a reception, etc. This type of etiquette also developed a long time ago, but remains in existence until today.
- Military etiquette - regulated by the presence of a certain charter andtraditions developed over time that determine the behavior of all members involved within the military system. This includes manners and norms of behavior in both official and non-official areas of activity, in interpersonal contacts, when making greetings and appeals that have a ritual orientation and are not used in other areas of life.
- Professional - a type of etiquette that has gained the most development during the 20th and 21st centuries due to the active increase in the number of professions associated with the beginning of the era of scientific and technological progress. The most diverse segments of the population from all continents began to become more and more actively involved in professional activities, which as a result led to a significant expansion of the functionality of this type of etiquette.
- Combined with professionalism is business etiquette, which regulates the norms of communication of officials with each other in the performance of their direct official duties.
- General civil (also called behavioral or directly secular) - is the broadest concept of etiquette, because it combines a common set of norms, rules, conventions and traditions that people use when communicating with each other. Civil etiquette is thus the most universal of all other types.
- Speech is a type of etiquette that establishes speech cultural norms that require knowledge of the stylistic and grammatical foundations of the language, as well as the ability to simply, clearly and intelligibly express one's thoughts and convey them to others. This type isan obligatory component that is included in all of the above types of etiquette, since it is the ability to write correctly and speak well that are the basic foundations of any etiquette in general.
Now it's time to look at the difference between ethics and etiquette. They can be easily confused, while each of them has a certain, different meaning from the other word.
Ethics and etiquette: differences and similarities
If what constitutes etiquette has already been clarified above, it's time to define what the term "ethics" means. This concept is a study of morality and morality from the point of view of philosophy, that is, it has, apparently, a very distant relation to the rules of social behavior. The differences between these concepts can be clearly demonstrated with specific examples, for example:
- "Love for the Lord and neighbor" is a sentence that reveals the principle of ethics.
- "Do not kill, do not steal, do not covet" is a phrase that already defines the principle of etiquette (in terms of Christian morality).
Both categories are designed to guide a person on the true path, teach him to do good deeds, instill a bright, kind outlook on the world. This is the main similarity between the terms "ethics" and "etiquette". The first determines what must be achieved, and the second determines by what means and how this can be achieved.
Secular etiquette today: how to behave?
Now it's time for moreunderstand in detail what etiquette means, that is, go directly to a practical guide to action.
Modern secular etiquette provides:
- Forms of greeting and addressing another;
- Rules of conduct while eating;
- Norms of behavior in certain circles of society;
- Rules of conversation, which also represent a separate art with its own subtleties and nuances (small talk);
- Courtesy in addressing women;
- Respect and respect for elders in age and position.
How can you ensure that you leave an exceptionally positive impression in society, establish yourself as an educated and cultured person?
Etiquette tools
The rules of secular behavior, which are made up of the unity of the aesthetic (external) and moral and ethical (internal) components, offer each person an arsenal of certain auxiliary tools to achieve the goal - to achieve recognition in society. These include:
- Modesty and restraint. These qualities are by no means identical to shyness, timidity and self-doubt, but are determined by undemanding to one’s own person, lack of expectation of any privileges for oneself, and also the desire to flaunt oneself;
- Sensitivity and tact, which is manifested in the ability to take into account the age of the interlocutor, his position in society, the circumstances and place of the conversation, the absence or presence of strangers, ment althe location of the one with whom the communication takes place;
- A sense of proportion and the ability to stop yourself;
- The ability to control one's own actions;
- The ability to be mindful.
By educating, cultivating these qualities in yourself, you can be sure: sooner or later, recognition in society will still come.
Can etiquette be learned?
Of course! Currently, anyone who wants to improve their own skills in the ability to deal with people around them can be offered a choice of any master class in secular etiquette. Connoisseurs teach their wards the ability to properly behave at the table, understand the variety of cutlery, competently conduct discussions on deep, philosophical topics with an opponent so as not to offend anyone, organize and conduct receptions, go to public places and much more. Of course, an integral part of the course is the small talk section, which will help people who are insecure in their own abilities to start speaking beautifully, elegantly and without unnecessary frills.
Summing up
So, now it becomes clear that there is nothing wrong with secular etiquette. In fact, every person knows the basics of etiquette to one degree or another, you just need to decide for yourself whether more development of existing skills is required or what is already enough. After that, you need to either pull yourself together and comprehend the basics of secularism without leaving your home, or sign up for a special course that todaypresented in abundance. The main thing is motivation, and there it’s not far from high society!
