Getting into the business environment of communication, wondering about raising a child, participating in a cultural event, inviting friends to visit, meeting ordinary people, sellers, bus drivers, during the day one way or another we are involved in the process of communication. Many books on etiquette have been written, describing many rules. Let's look at the main ones.
Tact
The ability to be tactful is very important in dealing with other people. Tact is a kind of sense of proportion, based more on intuition and the ability of the brain to quickly analyze the situation. A person feels and realizes when and what he can say, and vice versa. Or presents his proposal, decision, point of view, advice in such a way as not to offend the feelings of another person.
The sense of tact cannot be innate, it has been laid in the head of a child for years in childhood and adolescence, and then it automatically works in the right situation. Therefore, when raising a child, it is important for parents to familiarize themselves with books onetiquette for children. If at a young age information about the correct behavior passed by, it’s not scary. Anyone can develop tact by reading and putting into practice advice from etiquette books.
Rules of tact
The basic rules of tact are:
- It is forbidden to abruptly abandon the topic of conversation, whether you understand it or not.
- It is forbidden to bring up a situation or memories of the past that can hurt the feelings of another, regardless of whether he is present at the conversation.
- Books on etiquette forbid making fun of someone, lie, make inappropriate jokes, talk about he alth problems or dysfunctional situations in the family, complain about your wife / husband, bring family troubles and misunderstandings to discuss with friends.
- You must always be sure of the accuracy of the information you present.
- Be moderately friendly and kind.
- Be moderately curious, leaving the other person's personal space intact (it is forbidden to read other people's correspondence, eavesdropping, peeping).
- If something happened to a friend's appearance (mascara flowed, clothes were torn), tell him about it quietly so that others do not hear.
- The rules of good manners include the ability to always control your emotions, regardless of the situation. It is forbidden to leave abruptly, to ignore those present. If the interlocutor is imposed on you and you do not like it, answer briefly but politely.
- Before you come to visit, you need to agree on this in advance.
- Take care of your appearance, dress tastefully: gracefully but discreetly.
Priority rule
The encyclopedia of etiquette includes a few more rules besides tact. For example, the preference rule. Women have an advantage over men, the elders over the young, the sick over the he althy, superiors over their subordinates, and so on.
This works both in greeting and in case you need to give way or a seat on public transport. In addition, there is an unspoken rule: if a woman, a man, an elderly person came with a small child, they are in the preferential line and go first.
There is a slight deviation from the norm in etiquette books. When confronted at the door, if the apology conversation drags on, whoever gets the double offer first must go first.
The rule of male courtesy
When visiting a theater or a restaurant with a woman, a man should help her take off and put on her outer clothing, provide her with a means of transportation, fast service, and a safe return home. A man should go up the stairs after a woman, go down first, this gives him the opportunity to help the lady if necessary.
General rules
According to the rules of etiquette, there are a few more rules that must be followed:
- It is forbidden to dry an umbrella at a party or at work.
- On the table or chair is allowedput only handbags of small sizes.
- Always offer help and thank you for the offer of help, whether you agreed to accept it or not.
- Always watch your posture, gait.
- It is forbidden to shout over the interlocutor, raise your voice.
- You can't sit indoors wearing outerwear, but you can cover your shoulders with it.
- It is forbidden to blow your nose in public, you need to go to a deserted place and blow your nose quietly using a clean handkerchief.
- Regular gestures required. You can not push, grab a person by the hand, spank on any part of the body, your own or someone else's, wave your arms, swing your legs. Always stay calm.
- If you are leaving a family dinner or gathering, don't say your farewell words out loud to everyone, just nod to those present.
- It is forbidden to scratch the scalp, pick your nose or ears with your finger.
- When attending a cultural event such as a theatre, you should bow to your neighbors before sitting down.
- If you are invited to visit, it is important to first say hello to the mistress of the house, then to the owner, everyone else is sorted by age from large to small.
- Total jewelry on the body and clothes should be no more than thirteen. This quantity includes cufflinks, buttons, tie clips.
Etiquette and mood
What to read about etiquette, in particular about mood? There are many books available to help restore mental balance. The authors advise: even if you are in a bad mood, upset about something or angry,don't show it in public. To the people around you, you should be reserved and friendly. Plus, smiling can lift your spirits.
Rules for men
In addition to the above, there are additional recommendations for men in etiquette books:
- The oldest male in charge should greet female employees first.
- Be always clean-shaven.
- Keep your nails clean, cut them short;
- Keeping your hair. Ideally, visit the hairdresser twice a month so that a new haircut is not noticeable.
The issue of observing the rules of good manners is very relevant today. Each generation brings up a new one, and it, in turn, learns by observing the behavior of the elders. Books on etiquette by Elena Vos, Anatoly Balakai, Dave Collins, Goldin will help you learn to control your behavior and communication, and Dmitriev's ABC of Etiquette is good for kids.
