How often do we have to deal with stereotypes in life? Yes, almost every day, every hour. They are in our thoughts, in our knowledge, in the manner of behavior and attitudes - both those around us and ourselves.
What are we taught from childhood? Play your part right. We are told: "a real man does not cry", "a true woman should take care of herself, about the house, about her husband, about children" … And we find ourselves in the grip of other people's ideas from a very early age.
Remember how often there is simply no strength after a working day, having done the necessary housework, and also take care of the affairs of loved ones. How you don’t want to get up early in the morning, while everyone is still sleeping, and cook breakfast for the whole family, because a “real woman” does this … We strive to take on as much as possible, we want to justify Nekrasov’s “stop a galloping horse”, and at the same timewe need to be fragile and defenseless. After all, how many times have you heard - from your mother, mother-in-law, husband: a real woman is a gentle and loving creature, the keeper of the hearth, eternal femininity, and so on and so forth …
And we begin to suffocate in other people's ideas. After all, the presence of opposite requirements - "be strong" and "be weak", "know how to stand on your own feet" and "rely on your husband" - splits the mind. This, at best, threatens us with the most serious neurosis. At worst, it leads to a split in families, to female alcoholism, to pathological relationships. Let's look at the situation of women in modern society objectively. At least we'll try.
If 100-150 years ago the main thing was the upbringing of children and the maintenance of the house, now the duties that society imposes on a woman have not diminished at all. Rather the opposite. After all, now they also expect from her that a "real woman" should be well-groomed, educated, professionally trained, and independent. And what about the family? How often is there a conflict of settings? Continuously… Take, for example, a situation where education and a career were valued in the family of parents. A "real woman" must choose a calling, get a diploma, do science.
And in the husband's family, on the contrary, the mother-in-law got used to a different way of life. For her, a "real woman" is one who serves her son, provides for all his needs,while forgetting about yourself. What happens to the psyche if a person finds himself in a situation of such cognitive dissonance? She crashes. And the woman cannot understand what her relatives really expect from her. And how hostile and judgmental the environment can be - at work, in the yard, in the kindergarten where we take our children … If we are afraid of our own complexes and problems, the easiest way is to find them in others and condemn them. "What kind of mother is this", "look at how she's dressed up", "she just wants to stay at home" or "she only thinks about work" - how often one hears such gossip…
We absorb other people's stereotypes involuntarily, subconsciously. But if we can only look into ourselves, to know our soul, we will understand how connected our thinking is, how much we are not free from blinders in front of our eyes. And if we still have a strong love for life, the desire for self-realization, we can remove them. And to understand that in fact a real woman is one who knows how to be happy and free. And she doesn't owe anyone anything. She came into this world to live her - unique - life. And not to be a "perfect couple", "the best mother", "obedient daughter" …. Only by realizing this can we learn to accept ourselves - and therefore others - as we or they are.
