In the domestic works of psychologists devoted to the science of communication, as a rule, there is always an indication of the inadmissibility of using a mentoring tone that provokes a negative reaction to it from the interlocutor. Let's take a closer look at what a mentoring tone is, and how clear the statement about the inadmissibility of its use is.
History of the term
The word "mentor" came to us from hoary antiquity, from ancient Greek mythology. This name is mentioned by the poet Homer in his classic poem about the wanderings of Odysseus. When the protagonist went to fight Troy, he instructed his friend Mentor to look after his son Telemachus and instruct him. The teacher diligently fulfilled his duties. He taught Telemachus, protected him from stupid things, gave reasonable advice. Until our time, the name Mentor has come down as a common noun, it means a teacher, mentor, someone who is smarter and acts more correctly.
Meaning of the word "mentor" in Russian usage
In the Russian sense, a mentor is a synonym for a stern teacher who demonstrates his superiority over his students, as a result of which he addresses them with some arrogance.
If the interlocutor is unshakably sure of his rightness and communicates with outsiders in a tone that does not tolerate objections, they say that he has taken a "mentor tone". By communicating in this way, the mentor demonstrates his conviction that his judgments cannot be erroneous, he does not give the right to the existence of a point of view different from his own.
In Russian literature, both artistic and scientific, the term "mentor tone" is used from a negative point of view, this expression always has an ironic connotation. The mentor is characterized as a person who is overly self-confident, does not respect his interlocutors, and allows incorrect arrogance towards others.
Why it is unacceptable to use a mentoring tone in communication
Psychologists advise in every possible way to avoid arrogance towards others. Who can take the mentor tone:
- parents in communication with the child;
- teacher in communication with student;
- leader in relation to subordinates;
- a successful person to others;
- leader in his group.
However, everyone wants to feel their importance, everyone is pleased when his opinion is treated with respect and sympathy. Naturally, the speaker's swagger and megalomania can only alienate his listeners. Mentor tone can significantly reduceself-esteem of the one to whom it is applied regularly, nullify the results of even the most brilliant speech. It causes hostility, resentment, a desire to take revenge.
In diplomacy, pretentious remarks and a mentoring tone are a direct path to a political crisis. The latter may even start a war.
Mentor Mentor
However, only in our country the concept of "mentor" has a negative connotation, although the hero of Homer was a wise and caring teacher. Therefore, in Europe in the Middle Ages, this word was respectfully called mentors, teachers.
Today, the word "mentor" is increasingly used to refer to a competent teacher. Mentoring in the scientific literature is defined as a way of communicating with gifted children, as a way of transferring experience and knowledge. In this case, mentoring is associated with mentoring and involves feedback between the teacher and the student. This way of communication implies not only the transfer of knowledge, but also support, encouragement, and the disclosure of the potential of the pupil.
A mentor-mentor is an attentive assistant, at the same time he is quite strict and demanding, does not make concessions, speaks honestly about the results of work, even if they are not the best. This way of communication between the educator and the gifted student is recognized as highly effective, as it helps the latter to gather himself and show his full potential.
