The feeling of shame most often arises in the face of the public, which condemns for what they have done or said. This feeling originates and is fueled by the presence in society of a generally accepted moral code and set of rules. But are we always ashamed only of ourselves?
A kind of shame
Usually you have to blush for your behavior. But an interesting fact is that the feeling of shame comes also for what you did not do. For example, for the bad behavior of your child or when a stranger kisses a girl in public transport, and you are ashamed of them. The reasons for this discomfort may be your internal taboo for such manners or the desire to take responsibility for someone.
The first signal that will inform about this is embarrassment. He says that the ongoing event goes beyond convention. And the feeling of embarrassment for a stranger is called Spanish shame. We will talk about him further.
The history of the expression
In Russian, the expression "Spanish shame" appeared after 2000, it came to us from English, where it sounds like spanish shame. And the progenitor of the phraseologism was the Spanish term verguenza ajena, which, just, had the meaning"shame for another." True, there is another interpretation of the origin of the term, in which Spain is out of work, since it allegedly came to us from Hebrew, where "ispa" is translated as "aspen".
In the popular apocryphal version, Judas, who betrayed Christ, hanged himself from an aspen tree. The tree was ashamed of the choice, although it is not guilty of this. But, according to popular belief, the tree is punished, because ancient myths connect the trembling of its branches with God's curse imposed for making a cross from it for the crucifixion of Christ.
Thus, one must understand that "Spanish shame" is not a scientific formulation of a psychological state, but an established judgment, namely a meme.
Meaning
We figured out the history of the origin of phraseology. Now we will decipher the semantic load of the expression. "Spanish shame" means that one feels embarrassed for the wrong actions of other persons. Psychologists say that a feeling of shame for others arises when a person recognizes himself as part of a people who do unseemly deeds.
The criteria for membership can be varied: gender, age, position, resemblance. But if this general touches you, you will feel uncomfortable. So the different attitude to one event of different people becomes obvious. For example, at a banquet, an unknown person got drunk and dances on the table - you may be embarrassed or funny. If it was your girlfriend, then you will surely experience a feeling of shame.
Tactfulness
The expression "Spanish shame" is caused by the appearance of a painful emotion that arose due to the realization of the absurdity of the behavior of fellow citizens, which offends the concepts of decency and modesty. Psychologist Elliot Aronson wrote in his book that we often compare ourselves with the people around us, and this, in turn, increases our self-esteem. Looking at a person doing something stupid, we are satisfied with the humiliation of the poor fellow, mentally saying that we would never be in the role of a loser.
We don't want to believe that we have fun watching others suffer, humiliate. Meanwhile, television ratings and the number of video views on the Internet prove this hypothesis. If in life the oversight of others does not always bring pleasure to its witnesses, then when in the movie an actor falls face down into a cake, this causes genuine laughter from many viewers. During the survey, it was revealed that the laughing subject experiences internal embarrassment, but it is accompanied by consolation that someone is even worse off than him.
What conclusions can we draw?
Not only beauty will save the world, but also a society of self-sufficient and harmonious faces. It is worth fearing individuals with an atrophied sense of conscience. Decency must be regulated in the process of socialization and upbringing of the child in order to avoid negative consequences. Decency is a positive symptom of the essence, if it is expressed in moderation. Embarrassment serves as a marker that something is wrong. We avert our eyes to “save face” of the one who is in a difficult situation, -it is an empathy of emotional sympathy, a great spiritual impulse that makes us better. So, it should be understood that Spanish shame is a positive trait in a personality.
