No other language has as many names for relatives as Russian. It’s not even worth talking about the banal father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and son-in-law, everyone knows who they are. But did you know, for example, that the husbands of two sisters are each other's brothers-in-law, and the wives of two brothers are brothers-in-law? It is interesting that in the Russian language there are very apt and caustic proverbs and sayings that reflect difficult relationships within the family. For example: “urban godfathers are arrogant”, “churlish as mother-in-law”, “mother-in-law has skinny pockets.”
But today we will focus on one relative - this is the husband's sister, or sister-in-law. Do you know how they used to talk about the husband's sister? Sister-in-law - zlovka or sister-in-law - winder! And they also said: "Cinderella's speeches stand in burr." How did this relative deserve to be treated like this?
Husband's sister and wife almost always have a difficult relationship. This is the same well-known conflict as in the relationship "mother-in-law - son-in-law" or "mother-in-law - daughter-in-law." At the same time, wives usually consider themselves the suffering side: they are convinced that sisters-in-law allow themselves to interfere in the personal life of spouses, in their life, in the sphere of raising children and maintaining the family budget. At the same time, sister-in-laws themselves are often perplexed: they sincerely believe thatthat they have every right to do so. That is why wives usually keep contact with their sister-in-law to a minimum, or at least try to do so. And even the need to congratulate her husband's sister once or twice a year turns into a real problem, conflicts are so acute.
The reason for this situation is a banal misunderstanding of the parties, unwillingness to accept each other's position. And the injured party is usually the husband. Let's try to understand what lies behind this misunderstanding.
A husband's sister may treat her brother differently. Firstly, she may associate herself with her mother (an older sister or just a more mature person). In this case, she will treat her brother affectionately and condescendingly and allow herself to interfere in his life. The extent of this intervention will depend on her tact and how much she is allowed to do so. Also, the husband's sister can project the image of her father onto her brother, trying on the role of a protector for him. Consequently, she will claim her rights to his participation in her life, while not in the least considering his changed marital status. Often such a position in the wife is associated with complete selfishness, but sometimes the sister-in-law simply did not have time to realize all the changes. Another problem of this situation is that the husband's sister continues to use his things and money, not at all considering the brother's wife. Remember, as they said - "sister-in-law-winder." This is the side of the question that we are talking about: the husband's sister still believes that she has the right to use her brother's money (hisapartment, car, dacha, etc.) as their own things. Her position is easy to understand: she is used to doing this, and is not going to change her habits for the sake of some "outside" woman.
The most neutral option is a friendly relationship between sister and brother. But even in this case, conflicts arise, most often because of banal jealousy. Moreover, both the husband's sister can be jealous of a new woman in her brother's life, and her husband's wife can be jealous of relatives in general and the sister-in-law in particular.
Is there a way out of this situation? I would like to say that there is, but this is not entirely true. In order to avoid such a development of events, it is necessary that both sides of the conflict abstract from emotions, which is almost impossible. And yet, you should at least try to take a step towards each other: talk, try to understand, identify the most critical moments. This must be done, otherwise one of two things will happen: either one woman will lose her husband, or the other will lose her brother.
