How the matchmaking goes. How is the matchmaking ceremony among Russians and Armenians

2024 Author: Henry Conors | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-12 02:54

For newlyweds, preparation for the wedding is always a stressful, very important and at the same time interesting period. There is a lot to do: choose outfits, rings, a venue for the celebration, make a list of guests, a menu, think over an entertainment program … A whole mess! But if the marriage is planned in the best traditions, traditional ceremonies, such as matchmaking and betrothal, must be completed at the preparatory stage. Let's tell you more about how the bride's matchmaking goes.

For hundreds of years, it has been an important rite, the purpose of which is to obtain consent for the wedding of the bride's relatives. Over time, this rite has not lost its meaning, it is popular today. First, consider how Russian matchmaking goes.

Matchmaking in Russia

Selectedmatchmakers should have known how matchmaking goes, all signs, rules. Their goal was to obtain the consent of the parents of a young girl for her to marry the young man for whom they ask. It also happened that the girl did not even know who she was being married to, who would be her future husband. The main thing was the consent of the parents.

It all happened like this: the "applicant" came to the bride's parents together with the matchmakers. They could be his parents, other relatives, friends. The conversation began with "empty", only after several visits a productive answer was given. It was possible to reject the proposal immediately, but no one gave consent after the first visit - this was considered the height of indecency. If the matchmakers refused, leaving, they closed the doors with their backs, they believed that the girl would not marry for a long time. In the event that the groom liked it, the bride's parents took bread from his hands, cut it for everyone present. After that, they appointed the day of the handshake - the time when further actions for organizing the wedding would be discussed.

Another version of matchmaking in Russia

Specially invited matchmakers (relatives - the godfather, uncles, brothers), who know how matchmaking should go, came to the bride's house. Fearing the evil eye, the matchmakers came to the house after sunset. Starting with abstract topics, the conversation gradually approached the question of whether the girl agreed to marry the “candidate”? If the bride did not mind, then she took a broom and began to take revenge towards the stove, so the location towards the matchmakers was symbolically expressed. In case of refusal, revenge should have been towardsdoors, as if driving them out.

How does Russian matchmaking work on the wedding day

This interpretation of matchmaking is rather demonstrative, comic. There are many scenarios for this event. By the way, this type of matchmaking is different in that it takes place on the day of the wedding or wedding, like the ransom of the bride.

The essence of the event: the bride and groom choose their matchmakers. From the side of the groom, the matchmaker (matchmaker) is trying to redeem the bride, her matchmakers are trying to “sell” the girl as expensive as possible. In this situation, the proverb sounds: "You have a product, we have a merchant." The groom with matchmakers, relatives, friends must redeem the bride. From the side of the bride, a matchmaker is waiting for him, who is trying in every possible way to “not give away” her beloved, stuffs the price, arranges various competitions. With jokes and jokes, the groom redeems the bride, takes her out of the table, after which the joint fun continues.

You need to choose a matchmaker for this case more carefully. She must have a groovy cheerful character, be loud-voiced, lively in the language. This fun matchmaking option should take place in a casual, fun environment.

Modern matchmaking. Groom's arrival

Now let's look at how matchmaking (its first variant) goes today. The event must be approached with all seriousness. If young people adhere to moral principles, traditions, they consider it necessary to receivethe blessing of the parents, then it is necessary to marry. The young man comes first to the bride's house. It is best if, before his arrival, the bride morally prepared her parents so that a benevolent atmosphere reigned in the house. The groom must look his best to make the best impression. A young man presents a bouquet of flowers to both the girl and her mother. This is indicative of etiquette. The bride must introduce her parents to the groom, starting with the father. Then, in a casual conversation, the groom talks about his feelings for their daughter, dedicates to future plans and asks for her hand and heart. Next up is the parents. If they agree, then the father unites the young by joining their hands. If the groom came to visit alone, the meeting should not be long.

Return visit. Meet the Parents

How is the matchmaking proceeding? Now the bride is making a return visit. She should give the groom's mother a bouquet. Also, as a gift, you can present a cake or good sweets. After meeting the parents, the groom should be the first to talk about feelings, talk about joint plans, ask for the consent of the parents. With a positive outcome, there is an agreement when everyone (children and parents) will meet together to discuss the wedding itself. Although marriage agencies do the full preparation of wedding events these days, in this case, the parents only need to agree on paying for their services. If the parents live very far away, young people should send them photos of their soul mate, askmarriage license.

Engagement

After the matchmaking, many young couples organize an engagement. The closest relatives and best friends are invited to the evening. The bride and groom publicly announce to their closest people their intention to marry. The bride receives an engagement ring as a gift, which she will wear until the very day of the wedding. This ring is passed down from generation to generation, do not confuse it with an engagement ring, it has a slightly different meaning. The time from engagement to marriage is considered a period of reflection. For the last time, you need to weigh everything carefully and consider whether you are ready to lose your freedom, live the rest of your days with your chosen one.

How is the matchmaking process for Armenians

Earlier, the parents of a young man, choosing a bride, turned to some of their relatives who knew the girl's family. The mediator (midzhnord kin) must, during negotiations, obtain the consent of the parents for marriage. In order for the negotiations to be successful, during a visit, a comb or a large spoon - a sherep - was hung on a pole near the groom's house. After the parents agreed with the mediator, they planned an official matchmaking. It passed in a few days.

Matchmakers (patvirak) were sent to the girl's house, who knew well how the matchmaking ceremony goes. They were chosen from male relatives on the father's side, with them there was an intermediary, in some cases the mother of the groom. The girl's parents knew in advance about the arrival of matchmakers. The conversation began in an allegorical form: we came to take a handful of ashesfrom your hearth to mix with ours; to take a spark from your lamp for ours and the like. Most often, parents respond that they need time to think. To agree immediately was considered indecent. Sometimes matchmakers had to visit the bride's family two or three times. Only after the consent of the father, the table was laid, everyone drank the wine together, which the matchmakers brought. Before that, it was not customary to treat guests, it was believed that if you give bread to the matchmaker, you will have to give your daughter too.

Matchmaking these days

How should matchmaking be done in Armenia these days? Men often act as matchmakers. If they count on consent, then they bring treats: sweets, cognac, wine. In the case when there is no certainty, the matchmakers go empty-handed. The rite itself repeats the old traditions exactly. The only significant difference in modern matchmaking is that the consent of the bride is required. The wedding will not take place if the girl is against it. The parents of the bride, as in the old days, do not give consent the first time, the matchmakers have to go several times. In the end, with a positive answer, they hit on the hands. The official conspiracy is called hosk arnel, pats ktrel (to seal the word, to break the bread). As a pledge, it is customary to present a gift to the bride, more often it is a golden ring.

Betrothal

After the matchmaking takes place, at the preliminary stage before the wedding, the betrothal (nshandrek) is held. The time is appointed in advance by agreement or during the visit of the groom's father to the bride's parents. On the day of nshandrek, the father sends various treats to the bride's house, invites relatives, a priest, and musicians to the house. Then the whole delegation, taking a lot of treats and an engagement gift for the bride (nshan), go to the bride's house. The ceremony begins with congratulatory toasts, wishes of happiness to the young. The priest blesses the treats and the engagement gift, after which the groom hands it over to the bride. Any decoration serves as a nshan: earrings, a ring, a bracelet, more often silver.