Funny sayings and funny aphorisms

2024 Author: Henry Conors | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-12 02:41

Since ancient times, people have been using the wise sayings of prominent representatives of mankind to express their opinion with their help and give it great weight. And it does not matter whether the name of the author is known or whether the aphorism belongs to folk wisdom. Funny sayings are especially popular. After all, they help not only to express their attitude to something, but also to show off a sense of humor.

Men about women

With the advent of social networks on the Internet, a real battle of the sexes began. Women are looking for interesting statuses to show their attitude to the universe and men in particular. And the stronger sex uses funny sayings as a weapon to counter it.

• If the statement that men and women are from different planets is true, then the first contact with aliens has already taken place.
• Men love women with a past because they hope history will repeat itself.
• If offendedthe wife pauses for a long time, be prepared for a long monologue. If the husband holds a pause for a long time, it means that he is simply not allowed to speak. (Laws of family dramaturgy).
• I have too bad taste for your beauty.
• Start looking for yourself, then your husband will be found.
• A person who does not know the value of his time shamelessly spends someone else's.
• Do you want to have the last word in a dispute? Tell your opponent that you agree with his opinion.
• One way or another, we all pay for sex, but only corrupt women honestly name the price.
• Missed your happiness? Don't be upset, there's a lot of nobody around.
• Marriage is an eternal struggle between harassment and sickness.
• A smart woman is often a threat to her husband's reputation. The fool only endangers herself.

Female funny sayings

The better half of humanity is also great at manipulating aphorisms. Women can use them to both laugh at themselves and point men to their mistakes.

• Real men don't coward - they doubt.
• When eagles are silent, parrots talk.
• It's easy to say "I'll die for you" when there's no need for such a sacrifice.
• Women never lie! They just have girlish memory at first, and then sclerosis.
• With a good wife, a man can become a man.
• Funny sayings about blondes are composed by scary brunettes in lonely evenings.
• If fate hit in the forehead, then a kick in the ass is notworked.
• Better to be a young grandmother than an old girl.
• Truth should be presented carefully, like a dish of author's cuisine, and not thrown out like fresh fish on Privoz.
• Female friendship is just a suspension of hostilities.
• It's nothing, it's the wind in my head, but the ideas are always fresh.
• Some men are like clouds when they leave it gets lighter.
• My preference is simple - satisfying the best.
• The only medicine that does more good than harm to a woman is a new dress.

Funny sayings and sayings on general topics

• Don't argue with a fool. After all, an argument is an exchange of thoughts, and stupidity is contagious.
• Every company has a dumb friend. If yours isn't, then it's you.
• The deeper the crisis in the country, the more TV shows about the supernatural.
• There is no tailwind in the head.
• Education should be received not for the crust, but for the cerebral cortex.
• Spitting back means you're leading the way.
• A man must be able to laugh at himself sometimes, otherwise he will go crazy. But unfortunately, few people know about it, which is why there are so many crazy people in the world.
• The worm of doubt usually eats all the fruits of thought.
• If a negative result is also a result, then we have a very productive country.
• Corrupt officials always do everything for the good of the motherland. The only question is for whom.
• The trouble with the world is that fools are self-confident andintellectuals are full of doubts.
• In politics, stupidity is not an obstacle.

Pearls of the mighty of this world

It happens that an absurd, funny statement once escaped from the lips of a politician is remembered more than all his activities.

• We have enough people who, as they say, are not friends with the head.
• As they say, feel with your own eyes and see with your own hands.
• I approached people from your Cabinet and asked what their speci alty was. It turned out that a gynecologist works somewhere, and a plumber somewhere. (V. Yanukovych).
• Condoleezza Rice is just as simple a Texas girl as I am.
• As a child, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but I had to study hard, so I became president.
• Only we, the great American people, could send a rover to Mars! (George Bush Jr.).