Our article is devoted to answering the question of whether a guy should pay for a girl if they visit a cafe, cinema or restaurant together. This problem has several aspects, which we will focus on. In addition, the nature of the relationship is very important here, which can be friendly, romantic or business.
Cultural aspect
If you watched the American film "Look Who's Talking", you probably laughed at the situation shown in the comedy. An admirer of Molly Jensen, fearing the wrath of a feminist, does not dare not only to buy tickets to the cinema or pay the bill in a cafe, but also to open the door for her. Russians find this situation ridiculous, but people from other cultures really see the issue of money differently.
Americans and Europeans do not see anything unnatural in the fact that the companion bears her own expenses. By this, she seems to declare her independence. In this case, the initiative often comes from the woman herself. Letting her do it, the man just won'twants to offend his partner, and does not demonstrate his greed or bad manners. Therefore, the answer to the question of whether a guy should pay for a girl often lies in the plane of culture. When going on a date with a British citizen, for example, a Russian woman should take this into account.
First date
Romantic relationships often start after the first date. Where he should be, the representative of the stronger sex decides. A man needs to impress a girl by demonstrating his generosity, responsibility and reliability. That is why it is understood that it is he who must bear the costs. If a young man is short of money, you can buy movie tickets or pick up an inexpensive but cozy cafe.
Under no circumstances should he discuss aloud the cost of the menu or save on tips, because all this will turn against him. However, girls who order lobsters on their first date are also unlikely to count on a second date.
Nevertheless, the first meeting is in many ways indicative, so both parties may have an understanding that the continuation of relations is hardly possible. But this is not a reason for a girl to take out her wallet and pay the bill in a restaurant. A self-respecting man, and in the event of an unsuccessful rendezvous, will act within the framework of good manners. The answer to the question, should a guy pay for a girl on a first date, is unequivocal: yes.
Meetings at the restaurant
In high-end restaurants where a special audience gathers, the head waiter immediately understandswho will pay the bill. It is customary for a man to enter the establishment first. If there is a porter, he will let the companion pass first, but discusses all issues of boarding and service directly himself. Secular etiquette prescribes the payment of bills to him.
If a company of people appears on the threshold, then the unwritten rule is observed, according to which the one from whom the invitation to the meeting was received pays. This person enters first or waits for those invited, having appeared in the institution a little earlier. By the way, couples also often arrive at the restaurant separately, then the invitee appears at the restaurant in advance and waits at the table.
Who should pay in a restaurant if the initiator of a business or friendly meeting was a woman? Etiquette admits that she can do this herself. By the way, a couple can meet in a restaurant by chance and unite for dinner. Then it is appropriate that everyone should pay for himself. In this case, the waiter should be warned that two invoices were issued. However, it is customary to pay for alcohol exclusively to a man.
Long time together
Very often the question arises whether a guy should pay for a girl if they are dating. After all, situations can be different. It is not uncommon for both of them to be students and financially dependent on their parents, or, conversely, the girl works and has her own income, while the guy does not yet. What to do?
Firstly, it should be understood that each couple has its own right to independently resolve financial issues. It is important that they are discussed and suit both. MagazinePsychologies conducted a survey among its readers and found out that Russians' ideas about stable social roles are changing. Thus, 14% of readers believe that when answering the question of whether a guy should pay for a girl, it is permissible to say: "All expenses should be 50/50".
There are statistics from Elle magazine, which found that among readers in 60% of cases, men take on the financial burden of leisure activities, and in 40% they fully pay for all joint expenses. But at the same time, there are 18% of women who readily take on all the expenses.
True, we are talking about a stable relationship, but what about when the relationship is just starting? Should a guy pay for a girl in a movie, for example?
At the beginning of a relationship
When it comes to romantic relationships, it should be understood: the guy invests in the girl he really likes. He wants her because she is the one who has to make the final choice.
At the first stage, flowers, gifts, time spent on communication, and other actions are confirmation of sympathy. For example, defending her interests in front of others. He will definitely look for a reason to meet, inviting the girl for a walk, to a cafe or to the cinema. Tickets in this case will pay for himself. Based on your abilities. After all, it is important for him to cause the girl's favor.
If at the initial stage of the relationship the guy will not bear the costs, it is unlikely that his intentions are serious. So it has no purpose to producegood impression on the other half. However, the girl, in turn, should not demand anything from her partner. Her task is to take a closer look and draw conclusions.
Psychologists categorically advise against taking out your own wallet to pay for a visit to a cafe or cinema without first discussing the financial issue, so that money does not cause further disagreement.
Friendship
Should a guy pay for a girl if they are exclusively friends or business? In this case, it is important how the decision to go to the cinema or the nearest cafeteria is formed. If a guy takes the initiative and officially invites a girl, by this he indicates his readiness to take on the costs.
If this is a mutual or spontaneous decision during the resulting pause in classes or work schedule, then it is appropriate to pay the cost of tickets or orders in half. The girl will emphasize her independence by this, and the young man will not feel embarrassed if he does not have the required amount with him.
