Rules of etiquette at the table and eating

2024 Author: Henry Conors | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-12 02:53

Knowing the rules of etiquette at the table, any person feels more confident in any company and society, in a restaurant and cafe, while traveling and at a picnic. There are a huge variety of styles, schools and rules, some even contradict each other. The norms of etiquette depend on the country and the culture of the people, institution and society. The article will discuss the rules of table setting, the norms of behavior during meals, the peculiarities of using individual cutlery, the rules of behavior for children at the dinner table.

What is table etiquette?

The history of the formation of ethics is very old. Even our distant ancestors, primitive people, knew how to behave beautifully and more or less culturally while eating and sought to teach this skill to others. Over time, the norms of etiquette were formed and improved. At present, this science, which teaches us to behave correctly and culturally fortable.

It should be remembered that a person is remembered by the impression he made. As a rule, small details that can ruin everything catch your eye. Therefore, you must be prepared to behave correctly and know the basic rules of etiquette.

Experts recommend parents to teach children to set the table and handle cutlery at every meal. It is believed that a skill that is worked out at home becomes the norm of human behavior, and no matter what society he is in, he will behave culturally and ethically.

How to behave at the table: the rules of etiquette

The rules of conduct for food are basic knowledge that every person needs. Eating accompanies him throughout his life:

Business lunches where important contracts are signed.
Celebration events, corporate receptions.
Family feasts.

Dinners together bring people together. It is always a pleasure to communicate with a person who knows and follows the rules of etiquette at the table and eating, does not cause discomfort to others, eats neatly and silently.

Basic norms and rules of conduct

So, the features of cultural and proper behavior during the feast:

First of all, you need to sit in a chair correctly. Posture speaks of the ability to show oneself in society, the character and habits of a person. The following posture is most appropriate at the table - a straight back, a laid-back and relaxed posture. The hands shouldlie on the edge of the table, while the elbows are slightly pressed against the body. While eating, a slight tilt of the body forward is allowed, the distance from the body to the table should be such that the person does not experience physical discomfort.

There is a small exercise that will help you learn how to sit at the table correctly. To do this, you need to press several small books to the body with the help of your elbows.

During meals you must:

Be neat and quiet.
Slowly chew each piece of food with your mouth closed.
If the dish is very hot, wait until it cools down. Do not blow loudly on a plate or cup. This is especially the actual rule of table etiquette for girls and schoolchildren.
From common dishes, products must be taken with special devices designed for this purpose. The exceptions are cookies, sugar, fruits.
Start eating only after serving dishes to all guests.

What absolutely cannot be done:

Sip, smack, slurp.
Talk with your mouth full.
Put elbows, personal items, bag, keys, cosmetic bag on the table.
Stretch across the table for food. You need to ask the person to pass the dish.

How to pass dishes?

Dishes that are uncomfortable or difficult to hold must be placed on the table when handing over to a neighbor, that is, not handed over to him personally, but put in front of him in an empty place.
It is customary to pass dishes with handles, tureens with a handle towards the diner, who receives it.
Iffood is served on a dish and it needs to be cut, then when handing over the dish, everyone holds it in turn, while the neighbor serves food from it, while always using only common appliances that are attached to this dish.
All cutlery is divided into general, intended for laying out food, and individual - used for eating.

How to use shared appliances?

General-purpose appliances are located to the right of the dish they are intended for.
If both a spoon and a fork are served with the dish, then there is a rule: the spoon lies to the right of the dish, it is used to scoop up and lift food, and the fork is to the left, with its help they support the food.
Shared cutlery should be returned to the dish, arranged in the same way as they were served.
If a carving knife is served with a dish, then in order to avoid cuts, it is customary to point it inside the dish.

In a restaurant

Very often dinner or lunch is held in a restaurant. Table etiquette and special recommendations:

A man lets his companion go forward. He opens the door, accepts outerwear.
If someone is late, they are waited for 15 minutes, after which they start eating.
If you are late, you should apologize, but do not turn the attention of those present to yourself, explaining the reason for being late.
When both men and women are present at the table, the menu selection and ordering is done by the men.
Startfood should only be served when the dishes are served to all present.
You can't defiantly look at and smell food, it looks uncivilized.
The bones should be removed from the mouth with a fork and placed on the edge of the plate.

The following actions are not allowed at the table in a restaurant:

Perform hygiene procedures, that is, correct makeup, comb your hair, wipe your neck, face with sanitary napkins - all this should be done in the restroom.
It's considered bad manners to leave lipstick marks on your glass, so you should blot your lips with a tissue before eating.
You can't loudly call the waiter, knock on the glass with a fork.
Take food from a shared dish with your individual cutlery.

Table setting

Regardless of whether it is a business lunch or dinner with the family, the table must be properly served. This gives solemnity to the meal and accustoms to culture. Adhering to the rules of table etiquette and eating is much easier at the sight of a neatly set table.

There are many ways to set the table, depending on the nature and type of event, time of day and other factors.

In the classic form, you can use the rules described below.

A tablecloth should be an obligatory attribute of the table, it is best to choose light shades, on such a canvas the dishes will look stylish. According to the rules, the tablecloth should hang no more than 30 centimeters from the edge of the table.
Chairs should stand on somedistance from each other so that the diners do not interfere with each other's elbows.
The serving plate is placed at a distance from the edge of the table - 2-3 cm, it is a stand. Place a deeper plate on top.
Plates for bread, buns and pies are located on the left side.
Bouillons and soups are served in deeper bowls or bowls.
According to the rules of table etiquette, cutlery is placed on paper napkins, they are usually matched to match the tablecloth. Cloth napkins are used during meals to protect clothing, they are placed rolled up on plates.
To the right of the plate are those devices that are customary to hold with the right hand. A tablespoon is placed with the convex side down, a knife with the cutting side towards the plate, the prongs of the fork should look up, a dessert spoon is placed on top of the plate.
A glass of drinking water is placed in front of the knife.
Communal dishes are always placed in the center of the table, next to them, according to the rules of table etiquette, cutlery for common use is supposed to be placed.
Hot drinks are always served in special teapots or coffee pots, while the cups are placed on the table, there should be a small saucer under them, and a teaspoon next to them.
Sugar is served in a sugar bowl, along with a serving spoon.
Up to 4 glasses are allowed on the table at the same time: large (for red wine), slightly smaller (for white), elongated narrow glasses (for champagne and sparkling wines), low wide glass (for water).
Beautifully on any table look fresh flowers in vases, which are placed in the center of the table. They givefestive look and are an additional decoration of the table.

Napkins

Woven cloth is designed to cover clothes. You need to unfold it in one motion. The size of the napkin depends on how it is placed on your lap. There are two options:

A large napkin is usually used for formal occasions, it is customary to unfold it half way.
Small size napkins unfold fully.

You can not tuck the napkin into the collar, buttons, belt!

How is a napkin used while eating? You can use it to blot your lips, but do not wipe them, you should always blot your lips before drinking drinks so that there are no traces of lipstick or grease on the glasses.

If the table was served with napkins with rings, according to the rules of etiquette at the table, it must be placed in the upper left corner of the cutlery. After dinner, you need to take a napkin by the center and thread it into the ring, you need to leave it so that its center looks at the center of the table. If it is necessary to leave for a while, then the napkin should be placed to the left of the plate, while the side that was used should be wrapped inside.

How to use appliances

There are two ways to use cutlery - European (classic) and American. The first provides that the fork and knife are held in hands throughout the dinner. The knife is not put aside on a plate, even if it is not needed. American Instrumentation Systemallows you to put the knife on the edge of the plate, and the fork can be shifted to the right hand and eat only with it. The blade of the knife should be turned inside the plate, the handle should be located on its edge.

Dishes that do not need to be cut (scrambled eggs, cereals, pasta, mashed potatoes, vegetables) can be taken with a fork in your right hand.

Food that needs to be cut is done in the direction away from you, and so that there are not so many pieces. It is not customary to cut all the food at once, it should be done gradually as the meal progresses.

Rules of etiquette for girls at the table

How to complete a meal? Where to put utensils after eating? The rules of etiquette at the table stipulate that after finishing the knife and fork are placed parallel to each other on a plate, their handles should be directed to the lower right corner - this is a sign recognized throughout the world that indicates the end of the meal.

If the food is not yet finished, the knife and fork should be crossed on the plate, but the cutlery handles should not protrude too much from the plate.

After eating liquid food, the spoon can be left either in the plate itself or on the stand.

General rules for using appliances:

You can't check the cleanliness of the utensils, if there is any stain on the utensils, you need to quietly ask the waiter to replace them.
If there are a lot of cutlery on the table, and there are doubts about which fork to take for which dish, you can peep how other guests solve this problem.
When serving complex, you need to take the farthest fork from the edge of the plate, and as you change dishes, gradually approach the nearest one.
Knifedesigned for either cutting food or spreading pâtés.
You can't taste food from a knife.
If asked to pass the device - according to the rules of etiquette at the table, they are passed with the handle forward, taking it in the middle.
All fish dishes, both cold and hot, are eaten with a special device, if not, then with a fork. You can't cut fish with a knife. But poultry dishes are eaten with a fork and knife, you can’t eat with your hands and gnaw at the bones.
Tea and coffee spoons are only for stirring sugar, after which it must be leaned on a saucer.
If tea or coffee is very hot, you need to wait until the liquid cools down. You can not drink from a spoon, blow into a cup.
It is impolite to keep eating while someone is making a speech.
If you want to get rid of gum, wrap it in a tissue and then throw it away.
Bread is taken by hand, you can not bite off a piece, it is eaten in small pieces, breaking them off over your plate.
Bouillons are served either in bowls with one handle or two. If the bowl has one handle, you can safely drink from it, and if it has two handles, then there is a dessert spoon.
S alt from the s alt shaker is taken with a clean knife or a special spoon.

Compliment to the chef

Even if the food was very tasteless, you must definitely say something positive. Of course, you shouldn't lie if the meat was burnt, it doesn't make sense to say that it was delicious. It looks unnatural, it is best to say that the sauce or garnish was a success. In any case, you need to find something to praise for, because it is very important that the dinner ends on a positive note.

Serving Rules

Depending on the degree of formality of the dining event, the rules for serving dishes at dinner differ:

For formal dinners, the following rules apply: food is served separately to each guest, while the waiter comes with dishes from the left. Sometimes the plates are filled in the kitchen and then taken out and placed in front of the guest.
At informal meetings, the host himself arranges the food on the guests' plates.

Subtleties of table etiquette

If it is necessary to refuse a certain dish due to allergies or diet, it is necessary to explain to the owner the reason for the refusal (but not to focus the attention of the whole society on this).
If food is stuck between the teeth, you can not get it at the table, even if there are toothpicks. You need to apologize, go to the toilet room, where you can remove the stuck food.
According to the rules of conduct at the table, cutlery and glasses do not leave traces of lipstick - this is bad form. You need to go to the bathroom and blot lipstick with a paper towel.
Restaurants have smoking areas, if lunch takes place in such a zone, you can’t smoke between meals, it’s best to wait until the end of dinner, ask permission from those present, and only after that smoke. Never use plates as ashtrays.
According to the rules of etiquette at the table, handbags, cosmetic bags, diplomats cannot be placed on the dining table. Giventhe rule also applies to keys, gloves, glasses, phones and packs of cigarettes. In general, the rule is that if an item is not a dinner item, it should not be on the table.

How to behave at the table and what to talk about?

The rules of table etiquette include not only the correct use of appliances, good posture, but also the manner of dialogue and conversation.

It is strictly forbidden to discuss provocative issues that may cause conflict, which is why it is better to refrain from discussing politics, money, religion.
You need to look into the eyes of the one who asks the question. Listen first, then answer.
If the suggested topic doesn't fit with the meal, offer to discuss this issue later.
Furious arguments, raising voices, inappropriate comments should be avoided.
It is good manners to praise the host, the initiator of the feast, the cook.

Subtleties of etiquette in different countries

The rules of etiquette at the table and eating in different countries are different from what we are used to. Some norms may be completely unusual and exotic for Russia.

So, to avoid uncomfortable situations, tourists should pay attention:

In Korea and Japan they eat with special chopsticks. During meals, they are placed parallel to the edge of the table, it is strictly forbidden to stick them into rice (this is a symbol of funeral).
In Brazil, a special red token with oneside and green on the other. The green side indicates that the visitor asks for another dish, if there is no need for additional food, the token must be turned over to the red side.
In England and India, it is not recommended to eat with the left hand, as it is considered unclean, this also applies to shaking hands, passing objects.
In Italy it is not customary to drink cappuccino after noon, do not add Parmesan to pizza or pasta.
In China, if a fish is ordered, it cannot be turned over, you should eat one part, remove the backbone and continue to eat the second one.

Before traveling, you need to familiarize yourself with the basic rules of etiquette. It is necessary to respect the culture and traditions of other peoples so as not to offend the local population.

Etiquette rules for children at the table

Children need to be taught etiquette from an early age. They absorb information quickly, and the learning process can be turned into a game.

You need to teach your child to wash their hands before every meal, for this you need to start setting an example for him, then the action will become so familiar that it will be done automatically.
The child needs to be seated at the table with adults so that he gets used to the company. During lunch, do not turn on the TV, as it distracts from eating.
You can tuck a textile napkin into his collar.
For small children there are special plastic or silicone knives and forks. They do not cause injury, and are absolutely safe forbaby.
You should teach your child to sit up straight, not to sway in a chair, not to scream, not to talk loudly. Can't play with food.
You need to teach your child to say "Thank you" after each meal, and only then leave the table.
Introduce a little older children to the table setting, let them help arrange plates and lay out cutlery.

The most important thing is patience, maybe the child will not understand the rules the first time, but you should not yell at him, be nervous. Everything will come with time, the main rule of learning is a personal example.

Instead of a conclusion, a short course in table etiquette

Some etiquette rules are best learned by looking at the pictures, you can watch the video.

Table etiquette is quite simple if you pay attention to it and a little time.

Easiest norms:

Watch how other guests behave, do the same as they do.
Don't point out their mistakes to others.
Don't leave the table for too long.
If you need to leave those present for a while, apologize.
Do not discuss at the common table - allergies, diet, indigestion.
It is not proper to comment on the contents of the dishes, as well as the amount of alcohol in the glasses of neighbors.

All these rules will allow you to show your best side during a friendly, business or family dinner and create a positive impression of yourself.